I've Got A Theory - House style

Alex just sent me this, it is the best thing ever... if you know where it came from (Buffy - Once More With Feeling). I had to post it, because as I finished singing it out loud (you can't just read it in your head, I dare you to try!) I said (in a Barney-like voice) "man, this is totally going in my blog" and then I proceeded to high five myself - Neil Patrick Harris style! AWESOME. Anyways, this song is totally legendary!!!



[Chase]
I've got a theory, that he's allergic!

[House] (hitting Chase on the head with the cane)
To breathing AIR? Uh, something isn't right here.

[Foreman]
I've got a theory, House is acerbic --
'cause you're repeating dumb ideas that don't help here.

[House]
I've got a theory we should solve this case...
Or else I'll throw these whiteboard markers right in your face.

[Chase]
Could be the girlfriend!
His evil girlfriend!

(glare from Cameron)

--Which is ridiculous
Relationships are happy flowers
perfect love that never dies
And Cameron's scary, I'll be over here. (sulks to coffee maker)

[Cameron]
...I've got a theory, it's vasculitis.

(long pause)

[Foreman] (Rolling eyes)
I've got a--

[Cameron] (standing on the table)
Vasculitis isn't nice like everyone supposes!
It inflames capillaries, even in your noses!
It messes up your organs...
Why do we need to do more testing anyway?!
Ducklings, ducklings -- it's vasculitiiiiiis!

(crickets; Cameron hops off table, chagrined)

[Wilson] (walking in)
...or maybe cancer?

[Foreman] (pacing)
I've got a theory we should treat this fast...

[Foreman, Chase] (pacing together)
Because if we don't solve it in time, he may not last.

[Chase]
I've got a theory--

[House]
It doesn't matter...
What can we do if it's contagious?
Getting sick isn't advantageous.
In quarantine? I won't go there --
It's dull as hell, no comfy chairs.

[Everyone]
What can we do if we can't visit?
We'll get infected in a minute...

[Cameron]
I have to try, I'll pay the price!

[Foreman]
You do, you'll die!

[House]
Sounds kinda nice...

[Everyone]
We'll have to solve it on the whiteboard
Eventually, we'll hit the right chord
There's nothing we can't treat...

[Wilson] (aside, sipping coffee)
...except for cancer.